With a gentle push from Nicky, my psychologist, I have decided that incorporating my daily, weekly ups-and-downs is a great idea. Everything on the net is so clinical and down the line. I have found that there is no set diagnosis for someone. Each experience is unique, as is each person.
This is where I have hit heads with my psychiatrist (no names mentioned). I find her approach far to strong, determined and decided. She gives the correct "ums" and "ahs" when I mention my symptoms and prescribes her "treatment", which I have discovered she rarely deviates from, from patient to patient.
She placed me on a cocktail of Lilly Fluoxetine (Prozac), to treat the depression; Lamictin as a mood stabiliser and Seroquel for any rage attacks. Weeks passed and I was feeling really fluey. I didn't know what to put it down to, I took Spirulina to boost my immune system, carried tissues for the sniffles, sucked on throat lozengers for the sore throat, sprayed the nose sprays, I took Linctagon for further immune support and nothing seemed to work. I had a post-nasal drip from hell. Hacking and choking is great! I thought I cannot be so sick for so long for no reason. Research was needed, research I did. Google, my friend, apparently there is a side effect known as the Lamictal post nasal drip. Aha, I thought, it's not all in my mind (har-har). Side effects included flu-like symptoms. So a visit to the psych was needed.
I walked in confidently with my researched (read Googled) evidence of my side effects. I had my argument laid out. She bulldozed. She basically poo-pooed my symptoms, and said that any site and any medication will list basic side effects with which I was presenting on paper and that my physical side effects were not from the medication. I felt differently and asked to come off the Lamictin. The withdrawl was not fun. Lethargy, headaches, nausea. I did more reading and found out that her cold-turkey cut was maybe not the best choice for me. A slow decrease in dose to ween me off may have been better.
Just before I was taken off the Lamictin I went to see her as I was still not completely stable, having vicious rage attacks and bouts of severe sadness. The thought of suicide was high after I would lash out. So she placed me on Quinolum SR (Lithium). This was the biggest deal for me and I fought it tooth and nail. I did not want to be a Lithium user. The stigma surrounding the drug for me was huge. My mom felt the same way. I spoke to my GP about it, I spoke to Nicky about it. All felt it was okay and that the advances made in the field were huge. I was at ease. So far, so good.
Then the sadness and rage returned as I was no longer on a mood stabiliser. So back to psych I went. R650 a shot I might add (for a 15 minute session). Basically it costs that much for a bloody script. Robbery. So we discussed my options. Being a girl of the heavier persuasion the use of Epilim was out as I would eat voraciously on this, thus becoming bigger, depressed. Not a great cycle. So she settled on Tegretol. With Lamictin she warned me about an aggressive rash that could occur. I didn't present with such rash, but I did get the flu-like symptoms (which sucked!).
I went away this weekend with Paul. We went to the Kruger. It was great. This was 5-6 days into my Tegretol introduction. We took a bath, and both noticed this crazy ITCHY red rash on my thighs, and on my ankles. I thought I had been bitten by a spider, or had a heat rash (in Winter?). So by the Saturday morning it had gotten progressively worse and I sent pics to my parents. My mom spoke to my aunt, a bi-polar empathiser. She had the same rash! From the same meds. Fuck, seriously. I researched this one. Google, you failed me, damn it. I was in the 5% of people with this Tegretol rash and it is hectic. I am now on anti-histamines and low dose cortisone to get it done. Thank fuck it is winter, I can cover up this shit.
I am so tired of this path.
Psych, you are fired!
I am going to see a new one, new opinion, new approach.
Sigh. So there is my rant for today. I still have a post-nasal drip plus hacking cough. Paul loves it. It jars him awake. I will work this all out. There is no hard-fast science to this stuff would you believe. No one prescription works for all. I just wish it could have been a once off case for me. But then again, what is life without adversity. We learn from mistakes. I write about it. Tell you about it. Oh, the learning I have done this year.
No comments:
Post a Comment