Some of my friends went to Durban this long weekend. I did not go. Not for lack of wanting to. Alas, I did not go with. However I have REALLY bad FOMO (Fear-Of-Missing-Out). This made the situation, well, traumatic for me. I immediately felt lost without them and went into absolute victim mode. Oh what was I to do without them? Oh, whoa was me. Well, I got over it (for the first night) and went out with other friends. Sometimes putting on a brave, smiling face when you feel let down and disappointed is the only way to convince yourself that things will be just fine.
You know that feeling when you see something, read something, hear something that breaks your heart. Your chest starts to ache, your breathing quickens, your body warms, your sight blurs, you are angry, sad, frustrated and feeling left out. Photos suck sometimes.
But then, you have to accept that there is nothing that you can do to change what has happened and you have to move on and make the correct choices for the future.
This is just me being a Grade-A drama queen, I have the want to be at all places at the same time. Silly yes, "curable", maybe...
I am however amazed at my friends who called me up this weekend to invite me out. I was never alone this long weekend. Some I have not seen in a while, but they are still my buddies. I love how random life can be! They led me out of the dark, and I love them for that. They helped me get over myself.
"With your head pounding harder than your heart,
And you feel that you're stuck where you are.
With your lungs filled with smoke,
And you know that you're heading towards the dark.
When it seems like this scene never ends,
Then the least you can do is pretend.
That the life you've been living is leading you out of the dark."
Your World On Fire by In Fear and Faith
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