The Voice in My Head is Irish

Why is it that the voice in my head (don't act like you don't have an inner voice), why is it that mine has an Irish accent? Just like Gerard Butler's. There is background tunes a playing like a folksy Flogging Molly.


I love the Irish, minus their drunken rages. I have always wanted to visit Ireland, it's rain, it's rolling hills, it's Guinness (ok not really), it's history, it's accents, it's green, it's Ireland.


Paul said I should give this little voice a name, like Gerard or Colin. It would be funny but then I would be humanising said voice. I thought this little experience was funny enough to pass along and share. Voice doesn't have an image I can attribute to it. Yet it dictates my way through the day. When I put a virtual puzzle together, it criticises me; when I send an email, it adopts a pucker Irish accent. 


Who knows what tomorrow will bring. 

The Pogues - A Fairytale Of New York by vince_suelze

Love Is Paranoid

We have to make this work. I love you so much. 

We've said it before, whatever it takes. Take this as my commitment to you, to us. 

I am looking forward to my future with you, the fun times and the inevitable fights.

"I step right off the edge, let the blood rush to my head

I'm going down to where the lucky ones have bled

I lift the veil up to reveal a fascination 

And if you crave it then you know that you are injured

And I'm holding on

And I'm holding on

For what you do to me, oh, baby, there's no measure 

I've taken everything, now I want to give it

I left the lights on so you stumble in devotion

So easy, so easy, it's left unspoken 

And I'm holding on

And I'm holding on

And I'm holding on

And I'm holding on

I've come to realize you're the only thing I want

I'm falling all the way in

I'm falling all the way in

I've come to realize you're the only thing I want

I'm falling all the way in

(I've fallen)..."

- Love is Paranoid by The Distillers

"Baby, you make my heart beat faster.

Baby, you make my heart beat faster. I know.

Yeah I know. I know..."

My Baby's Last Photo Session

I rummaged through my drawers the other day and found my Casio digital camera. The battery had died and I wondered what was on it. I then remembered. Sabrina's last pictures. I cringed and put the camera back into the drawer knowing full-well that I would have to face them one day. Today was that day. I took the camera out, charged the battery and loaded the images onto my PC.


My darling...


So sweet, so old, always tired towards the end. Her face so grey and aged she looked like a panda in the negative. 


I miss her everyday, I don't expect that to change, but what I know for sure is that the pang and hurt of loss will lessen more and more as each day passes. 


This is my favourite poem by John Donne. For my Sabrina, up there somewhere beautiful.

"Death, be not proud, though some have callèd thee

   Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so ;

   For those whom thou think’st thou dost overthrow

Die not, poor Death, nor yet canst thou kill me.

From rest and sleep, which but thy pictures be,

   Much pleasure―then, from thee much more must flow ;

   And soonest our best men with thee do go,

Rest of their bones and soul’s delivery.

Thou’rt slave to fate, chance, kings and desperate men,

   And dost with poison, war, and sickness dwell ;

   And poppy or charms can make us sleep as well,

And better than thy stroke. Why swell’st thou then ?

   One short sleep past, we wake eternally,

   And death shall be no more. Death, thou shalt die..."

- Death, be not Proud by John Donne

How My Little Has Grown So Big.

So it has been about a month and a half that little Ella has been in our lives, and boy has she grown. In the 6 weeks that she has been running around Beder manor she has piled on 6.5 kilograms. It took a little research and we figured out that our little is going to be a big. Bloodhound big. Her mommy is a basset hound. But it seems that her and her brothers have got her father's looks, or should I say bone structure and colouring. Her paws are massive, her ears are floppy. She is ball, rope, bone, couch, pillow, stick, actually anything she can chew, crazy. She is teething you see. A hand will do just fine too. In these past few weeks, she has taken to sleeping in her little bed like a champ, although her tummy works like clockwork at 4am. She then wakes up at 5am for cuddle time, and who could resist those droopy puppy eyes. She then crawls to the warmest spot in the bed, down to my legs. She is so sweet, like a portable hot water bottle with a heartbeat (that weighs 8kgs). She then emerges a few hours later, too warm, and wide awake, it's chew time. 


This little Ella has stolen my heart. Her love is unconditional towards me and mine towards her. I miss her when I am not around her. She makes me laugh and I am loving watching her grow. The last few weeks have been a real mommy test, as she is like a real baby. Up every few hours for toilet (read nappy) duty. I am really looking forward to seeing what she will look like as a big girl. She does not replace the space left in my heart left by my Sabrina, but she has carved out a new one. 


My boss has also adopted one of her brothers. Things turn out great sometimes. At least I know one of her little siblings has gone to a good home.  


Here are a few pictures of the little one in doing her thing. Hope they smiles to your face as they have to mine. Enjoy!