The second half of last year was my year of "chasing pavements". For every fight Paul and I would have, I would literally take to the streets in a bid for attention and to cool my rage. I didn't want him to follow, yet I would turn and look for him. I did a lot of walking last year. Through the streets of Highlands North, Houghton, Norwood, Edenvale, Sandton and many more avenues and ways. I walked in the rain, harsh sun and cold. I ran away from him and eventually tore the ligaments in my ankle, this for me was a literal grounding, an end to our fights. Months of physiotherapy got my ankle right. Yet it did not end. Paul then adopted this behaviour and I had to take chase, bad leg and all.
We have chased pavements and each other in Johannesburg, Cape Town and even Swaziland. If I could not run I would threaten to kill myself. He went through so much. I finally got help in March and have not gone chasing any pavements in a very long time. I have opted instead for a more sedentary approach, once a week in my therapist's office.
However my best friend, my lover, my heart... is still chasing pavements and I can no longer run after him. This is a journey you will have to chase without me. I trust you find the help you need along the way.
I love you. I will be at the end of your road waiting.
